Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.
When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
“All the kids make fun of me” the boy cried to his mother .“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.” his mother comforted him .“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one, use your hat.”
The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could beimproved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."